Becoming

 Mark 9:30-37

Become as a child, is one of the hardest things to understand in Jesus' ministry. Everyone gravitate toward the answer that children can be cruel. There is always someone who says this and yes, that can be true, but think about children as a whole. What do they do so easily that we cannot?

First is their ability to forgive quickly and often. They don't hold grudges. They don't keep a record of wrong. They forget how they treated you yesterday, or even a few minutes ago and want you to forgive just as quickly and just as often. 

I see this everyday in my work. They just want the chance to do well. To be in companionship with you and they don't ho!d onto what they think you did wrong or what they did wrong. Sometimes you might get an apology way down the road, but they work the same way they forgive. Quickly and fully, as if nothing ever happened. It is a quality we can learn from as disciples. 

Jesus asks us to forgive, just as we are forgiven. How often do we ho!d onto the wrong, real or imagined, and expect someone to know why we are angry with them? Or feel as though their penance should be more severe when they already apologized? 

Forgiveness does not mean becoming a doormat, but it also doesn't mean we hold onto a pebble, which then becomes a huge rock, as a great theologian once put it. When someone never asks for forgiveness and we hold onto the harm, in the end it does us harm. This type of forgiveness maybe a letting go and not associating with the one who harmed us, but it still needs to happen so we don't become enmired in the same hole.

The next thing is children are very open. They are open to love, open to others, more vulnerable because they haven't had a bunch of hard knocks in life. Imagine if we were more open...

We've never done it this way, what do you mean we're changing things, or watching out because we may be hurt are just a few of the ways in which we protect ourselves from real or perceived threats. We harden ourselves off because of past experience. Sometimes this creates healthy boundaries for us. In other ways it shuts us off to the possibilities which might be fruitful for us to explore. We need to remain open.

Right now I am reading the book about gifted and distracted children. The writer talks about asking new questions and reframing our expectations so we can better understand where the child is coming from. I'm realizing how entrenched I am in expectations which don't benefit the child or me in working together. How this closes off possibilities instead of opening up a way of learning and advocating, which would benefit both of us. 

Letting ourselves be open and vulnerable is hard after a life where we encounter difficulties. It is beneficial because it creates new pathways and doors where we thought none existed before. It is a good thing to have as a disciple of Jesus because then people can encounter the divine through us. They are not met with the same closed doors as they always encounter. Instead it opens up a path of dialogue we didn't think could exist.

In this world where people close off and drop one another for differences in politics it is essential for us not to do the same. To find our way past the differences to the things we hold in common and build from there. For more on this read Ishrad Manji's book about this. In it she explores with her dog how to be more open to others and be vulnerable ourselves. 

In this present day we have become so defensive, we cannot be open with one another. This is a big step into discipleship. Not cutting others off, it doesn't mean we totally agree with another's view, but it does mean we can find the space to understand we might have things which bind us to one another. In creation we see the interdependence of organisms upon one another. It is the same in our world. God created us, created us to be in relationship with one another. Now wouldn't that make a huge difference in our world right now? Remember to walk in love.