Shame

The shame of everything was what held me to it. 

Ashamed of who I had become, of friends who turned their backs. 

Ashamed of not speaking up sooner of waiting so long.

Ashamed of imagined transgressions that I found did not exist. 

Forgiving me was the first steps toward freedom. 

Having a community that accepted where I was

Was the first steps in healing and I found my own self. 

Self-forgiveness is never easy and there are too many hindrances

To stepping in that direction because others would like 

To measure and define your forgiveness by their own standards. 

No wonder Gods son gave out easy forgiveness

Baffling all the religious leaders. No wonder the crowds 

Followed him because that kind of forgiveness

Is hard to come by and means more than precious things of earth

Which fade and turn to dust. Truly forgiven 

Is truly loved, truly Gods love. It is the hardest for us to give. 

We give it easiest to those who don't deserve

And make the ones who thirst for it pay a high price. 

Why do we not give it to the least of these

Who would start to heal if they only knew it's power.