Spirit

How I explain the Spirits rush within.  It is so wonderful to experience it and to be caught up with others in worship together.  I used to go into the night sky alone when I was in my abusive situation.  When I came out from that the night is where I find peace and rest.

Last night Barbara Brown Taylor spoke of wandering in the dark and I felt the stirrings inside of knowing something that is familiar to me.  She compared to our knowing or walking with God.  We walk in darkness when we claim we really don't know God like we thought we did.  It was a beautiful analogy. 

The place I found freedom first was in the night sky.  I could pray and stumble and ask for anything imaginable.  It was where my heart roamed truly free from entering the house or entering the unknown of what demand would be made on me next.  I was truly safe there for as long as I stayed.  God seemed to grow closer and sometimes more far away.  I wanted God to make me safe, for Him to do the hard work, yet in the sky I found I had to do it on my own.  All of my prayers made there unanswered.

When I struggle I still return to that sky.  To ask the harder questions, to let my doubts ring out, to cry my tears and to focus love and prayers for others.  The night sky is my haven of rest.

 

Moon sits so pregnant and full in the sky

so close and yet so far

a promise to come of what is ripe

before my eyes, then a touch

linking me to sky and land

asking for a touch of the heart

where lives this wonder of my soul, my heart

healing power flows all through

drumming life into my heart

coursing to my tears of memory

touching soft, and dust, and shine

of life and heart, caught inside

a shimmer of what is to be

caught in the dream of night

awakening with the sun

light of so much life in night