John 20:1-18
She was blinded by grief. It was so wrong. How could this have happened? He had crowds following him and they all turned on him. But not the women, not one disciple. They stood and watched it all. All the awful, tortured, long day. He died. All that is left is deep sorrow.
She can still hear his laugh. Or hear the stories he told by the fire at night after a long days travel. She can hear him command things to be made whole, to be healed. She will never forget the day it fell on her. Once she was in her right mind, the voices no longer crowding out her own. "Mary, are you there?" he asked. So this is so unfair, unjust, just not right.
At dawn, when the first small light is beginning to peak in the sky, she has to go. She has to make sure his body has been taken care of. That all has been done right. A final care of anointing for the one who gave her, her life. When the women arrive the stone has been rolled back. What have they done? They have taken him. No! Not this final injustice. They run back to the disciples to make sure what they are seeing is correct. Peter and John come with Mary. Running ahead of her. She can't catch them. They get there and leave and she is now in the garden alone. Crying.
It's true he's gone. Dawn still has not come. She is distraught, crying and crying. Then there is a man, she begs, pleads with the man to tell her what they have done to him. Where have they taken him, she barely chokes out through her tears. Then her name, and she knows, she knows that voice. How could she not know this voice?
This scripture is read every Easter. It is the one most often picked. Maybe it's because it enters into our darkness. The places where we have grieved long and hard and found in the midst of that a voice calling our name. You see every grief, every deep pit of despair, every hard time in our lives is a place where we can attune ourselves to hearing our name or letting the well of grief leave us in ourselves, alone.
In The Last Green Valley the author tells the tale of a Ukrainian family who is trying to run from Stalin and Russia and goes with the Germans. In it the father has a crisis of faith. He believes on one horrible night God left him all alone to witness terrible things. Then he ends up in prison camp back in Ukraine. During this he meets a man who he tells his story to and the man explains how his prayer that night was actually answered, he just didn't recognize the answer. Yes, he witnessed awful things. Yes, the people who were killed were praying too. Still Jesus was calling his name and in the prison camp, with this crazy Romanian he begins to see this.
Jesus calls our name in the most difficult places. It may not even seem our prayer is answered, yet our name is still being called. We need to listen. We need to see clearly through the tears and pain. We need to have faith that we are not left in the garden with our grief. Listen and hear his voice today. Listen and know you have not been left totally without someone who cares. Listen and hear your name called. He is risen! Alleluia!
Comments
Post a Comment