win or lose

It seems so concrete either we win or lose the fight whatever it may be. We seem to forget that win or lose are not the only options. I learned this after a time of severe struggle.  My ex had been filed another protection from abuse from his current wife and my son decided to testify on his behalf. I felt as if I had lost my son to him.  In other words after all I had done to protect my son from this he had decided as an adult to live in a domestic violence situation and to defend his father.  I had lost. 

One of the workers from a domestic violence organization looked at me as I was explaining this to her and said, "Annette, you've come too far to do this to yourself." It somehow snapped me back.  Its never as simple as win or lose, it was more about my own frame of mind.  My son was an adult free to choose, and I was free to choose how this would affect me.

Jesus does this so many times.  Today we have the hails and hosannas of welcome into Jerusalem,  in a few more chapters we have his death and crucifixion, the in another chapter we have his rising form the grave and appearing to Mary, then to the disciples.  Win-lose-win right?  Its even more complicated than that though. Because the real deep part of the story is not about getting back at everyone who abused and put Jesus to death, but about opening the door wider to peace, to full inclusion, to love.  The thing is can we open loves door?