It is funny where we find shelter. When I was first leaving my abusive situation it was in the stars outside where I would find shelter. It meant I didn't have to go into the house and face my abuser and what might happen next. It was a safe place, the place where I found freedom.
Then, when I had finally served papers for Protection from Abuse shelter meant sacrificing freedom. They can only arrest him if he does something. He had done something, attacked me in my yard, but no pictures were taken of my arms, and the sentence was light because it was a first offense. So when we (me and my two boys) would come home in the afternoon and evening we had to go right into the house, the blinds and curtains were all drawn. There was no playing outside, no enjoying the evening summer or spring or fall or winter. We were inside, in the dark, and always wondering if a shadow would cause us harm. I used to sleep with the phone right beside my head, many times calling the hotline just to have someone to talk to about how frustrating this was, or how scary it was.
So I think a little differently about hiding and being hid. Because I know what it is to pray to remain safe, to jump at every noise outside, to not feel safe even though you are inside. The prayers change too. They changed from wandering freely in the night and wondering at God's work to wondering if we would make it safely out of this situation. You pray to remain hidden, remain safe, for no bad thing to happen or touch you and those you love. It is where my prayers turn now for those in Lui. For God's safety and providence, for God's protection, and for our friends to come out safe. I wait for Good News.
Then, when I had finally served papers for Protection from Abuse shelter meant sacrificing freedom. They can only arrest him if he does something. He had done something, attacked me in my yard, but no pictures were taken of my arms, and the sentence was light because it was a first offense. So when we (me and my two boys) would come home in the afternoon and evening we had to go right into the house, the blinds and curtains were all drawn. There was no playing outside, no enjoying the evening summer or spring or fall or winter. We were inside, in the dark, and always wondering if a shadow would cause us harm. I used to sleep with the phone right beside my head, many times calling the hotline just to have someone to talk to about how frustrating this was, or how scary it was.
So I think a little differently about hiding and being hid. Because I know what it is to pray to remain safe, to jump at every noise outside, to not feel safe even though you are inside. The prayers change too. They changed from wandering freely in the night and wondering at God's work to wondering if we would make it safely out of this situation. You pray to remain hidden, remain safe, for no bad thing to happen or touch you and those you love. It is where my prayers turn now for those in Lui. For God's safety and providence, for God's protection, and for our friends to come out safe. I wait for Good News.
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